Letting Go of Jewelry

I thought my next post would be about letting go of clothes, but am finding that task more challenging, so I am starting with jewelry.

I'm not a big jewelry lover so I'll admit that I may be starting with a small volume of jewelry compared to you. I wear jewelry when I go out socially; not every day. A couple of years ago, I decluttered my '80's and '90's costume jewelry I had loved but had then stored in a box for years. What was the point of them being in storage? As I mentioned in a previous post, I am trying to let go of my nostalgic self. Keeping a box of unused items is not giving positive energy to my present.

I have accumulated jewelry every year for decades as I would receive gifts or buy myself something that would catch my eye. I don't remember ever decluttering a good piece of jewelry. Jewelry is quite personal, so it wasn't something that ever made it into my decluttering efforts. The other reason is that a piece of jewelry is small. Compared to a household item, decluttering a piece of jewelry won't really be noticed.

That is until, the collection continues to grow. As my collection increased and overflowed, I bought new boxes to store them. This happened a little bit at a time over a long period of time, so it's not noticeable, until the top of my dresser became full of jewelry boxes and containers. What started as one large drawered jewelry box from my younger days (high school? university?) turned into multiple jewelry boxes, which overflowed into heart shaped empty chocolate boxes and pouches.

You could say that my jewelry is disorganized - and it has become that way over time. Lately, I would want to wear a specific necklace and not know where it was. I also forgot about certain items I had. The pandemic didn't help, but I have not been wearing much jewelry in the last few years.

The problem related to many parts of my life is that once I own something, especially if it is a gift given to me, I feel the need to keep it forever. In psychology, they refer to this as the endowment effect which finds that people are more likely to keep something they own than buy that same thing when they don't own it.

I am in the process of changing that mindset. Someone doesn't give me a present expecting me to keep it forever, so why do I feel like that?

I am ready to let go of jewelry even pieces that I like or love. I am letting go of jewelry that have memories attached to them. How and why am I doing that?

When the collection gets too big, we can't truly appreciate the best ones, especially when they are buried by the excess. I could get myself a bigger and better organizer but I don't need to keep jewelry that I only wear a few times a year. I often gravitate to my favourites so why not just keep those? 

The more I have, the more there is to maintain and organize. I love the boxes I have and am not interested in an elaborate or space taking unit. I let go of the box I didn't love and was taking the most space. I am keeping the 3 jewelry boxes I love.

I realized after I took the first photo that the heart shaped chocolate box was a memory box that has a childhood shell necklace I loved, my childhood charm bracelet and shells I loved from a childhood trip. They are some of my favourite childhood mementos not actual jewelry.

I started the letting go process with empty jewelry boxes - laying everything out on the table. Recognizing the containers I want to keep, I started by putting my favourites in that space. I like having the smaller boxes inside to better separate the items. I grouped similar things together. 

I kept going until the space was full and I am donating the rest.

Giving it more thought since taking the second photo, the boxes are still overfilled but I need more time to let go of more. I am accustomed to filling a space, fill the closet, fill the drawer, fill the shelf - but that's not the best organization practice. We should leave space to easily find things. We want to make it easy to return things to their place. So I will move some items to an extra box just as a transitionary box to see if I will miss them. I'll review it in a couple of months.

This is a tactic I have been using to help me to let go. I store things to see if they are really missed. Decluttering is a process so I am giving myself a pat on the back for getting it down to this amount.

I feel like I know where each item goes now so it will be easy to put back. It will also be easier to choose what to wear since I can better see what my options.

When I was choosing the jewelry to let go of, I asked myself if I had another item I loved just as much that I could wear if I didn't have it. I let go of things I loved that I found a little finicky to put on, so I often chose not to wear them. I also let go of some I loved with certain outfits that I no longer have. Although I still loved them, they didn't really go with my current wardrobe.

I am hoping that the items I am donating are finding their way to someone who will better appreciate them.

Best Present Self

Bittersweet memories

That is all I'm taking with me

So goodbye, please don't cry

(I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston)

To try to be my best today, I need to let go of my nostalgic self and my someday self.

I thought I was nostalgic when I started my Revive55 Project. When I researched and learned about nostalgia, it was defined as bittersweet memories and homesickness. It's a yearning to return to a happier time. That doesn't make me feel good and maybe isn't what is best for me. 

I'll make a distinction though between nostalgic (bittersweet) memories and happy past memories. Looking at the photos and mementos that I have kept over the decades, I am trying to reflect on what type of memory it is. Does it make me happy in the present? Is it meaningful? Or does it remind me of a happier time that I can't return to? Or worse does it remind me of a time that wasn't happy?

Although I haven't been able to travel the past couple of years, my travel memories still bring up happy feelings when I look at them. Perhaps that is because I know that I still have more travel memories to make. My travel days are not over, they're just on pause.

When I look at my old concert t-shirts, I could say the same thing. I still have concert memories to come, so my past concerts are mostly good memories but perhaps the small fitted t-shirts are not making me feel good because I may never be able to wear them again. (well, I can WEAR them, but I may not want to be SEEN in them...lol) 

I love the design for some of them, like this Coldplay one, so I will keep those and let go of the other ones. I am thinking of framing the ones I love. That feeling of hoping to go back to my smaller self is nostalgic for me. It's a feeling that I want to let go of. I want to feel happy with where I am today. (It's easier said than done, but it's what I am striving for).

I wrote previously about my sports and music trophies. I had two boxes of them in storage. I donated most and kept what I thought at the time were my special ones. Two years later, I can see that some of them are nostalgic. I am ready to let go of more.

When I say I want to let go of my nostalgic self, I am referring to activities, hobbies and experiences. I am not referring to losing someone I love. I fortunately and thankfully can't imagine what it feels like to lose a spouse, a child or a parent. I can't speak for how to deal with immense losses and how to move forward while keeping someone's memory in our hearts.

I am talking about letting go of my own memories that don't add value or happiness to the present.

Letting go of my someday self is about collecting things and ideas about things I keep putting off or keep thinking that I will do some day. For example, I had a sewing machine and basket that I kept for decades barely using them. In high school, I sewed badminton outfits for myself. I couldn't find what I wanted in the stores so created my own with my Mom's sewing machine (even if I never took a sewing lesson). For some reason, I bought myself a sewing machine thinking that some day I would sew. I sewed a Hallowe'en costume for my son once.

He wanted a golf course costume; not to dress up like a golfer. He designed the course including sand traps and water hazards. I sewed the green felt base together. This was one of the few times I used my machine.

When I needed something mended, I would take it to a seamstress. It was not worth me re-learning how to use the machine to fix something. So I kept a few spools of thread and needles and purged the rest, creating space on my shelves for something that would be useful or loved. I am not someone interested in sewing today, so I let it go.

There's a difference between my someday self and my dreamer self. I love setting goals and chasing dreams. I love making vision boards and having lists of things I want to accomplish or places I want to go. I may not be accomplishing those things today, but I am in the process of making them happen or having them manifested.

It's recognizing the difference between something I really want to do rather than something I think I should do.

For me, I really want to make photo albums and video highlights from our past memories. It's not something I think I should do. However, as a Creative Memories consultant, I collected much more scrapbooking supplies than I want to use. I feel like I should use them because I purchased them (or earned them in bonuses) but I don't really want to spend the time decorating my pages as much as I used to. Looking at my scrapbooking supplies, there is a lot that reflects my someday self. I need to let go of those and focus on the ones that will be used. I need to get rid of the clutter to better focus on the albums I want to make.

I know a lot of people who say that they want to make photo albums some day. Do they really want to or do they feel they should? If you are someone who feel they should, I suggest to let go of that someday project. There are other ways to enjoy your memories without feeling the need to organize your whole photo collection into albums.

Moving forward, I may no longer make chronological albums. I feel like my digital photo collection is a continuous library so I'll be focusing on theme albums. More on that in another post.

By letting go of my nostalgic self and my someday self, I am creating space for my best present self.