I thought my next post would be about letting go of clothes, but am finding that task more challenging, so I am starting with jewelry.
I'm not a big jewelry lover so I'll admit that I may be starting with a small volume of jewelry compared to you. I wear jewelry when I go out socially; not every day. A couple of years ago, I decluttered my '80's and '90's costume jewelry I had loved but had then stored in a box for years. What was the point of them being in storage? As I mentioned in a previous post, I am trying to let go of my nostalgic self. Keeping a box of unused items is not giving positive energy to my present.
I have accumulated jewelry every year for decades as I would receive gifts or buy myself something that would catch my eye. I don't remember ever decluttering a good piece of jewelry. Jewelry is quite personal, so it wasn't something that ever made it into my decluttering efforts. The other reason is that a piece of jewelry is small. Compared to a household item, decluttering a piece of jewelry won't really be noticed.
That is until, the collection continues to grow. As my collection increased and overflowed, I bought new boxes to store them. This happened a little bit at a time over a long period of time, so it's not noticeable, until the top of my dresser became full of jewelry boxes and containers. What started as one large drawered jewelry box from my younger days (high school? university?) turned into multiple jewelry boxes, which overflowed into heart shaped empty chocolate boxes and pouches.
You could say that my jewelry is disorganized - and it has become that way over time. Lately, I would want to wear a specific necklace and not know where it was. I also forgot about certain items I had. The pandemic didn't help, but I have not been wearing much jewelry in the last few years.
The problem related to many parts of my life is that once I own something, especially if it is a gift given to me, I feel the need to keep it forever. In psychology, they refer to this as the endowment effect which finds that people are more likely to keep something they own than buy that same thing when they don't own it.
I am in the process of changing that mindset. Someone doesn't give me a present expecting me to keep it forever, so why do I feel like that?
I am ready to let go of jewelry even pieces that I like or love. I am letting go of jewelry that have memories attached to them. How and why am I doing that?
When the collection gets too big, we can't truly appreciate the best ones, especially when they are buried by the excess. I could get myself a bigger and better organizer but I don't need to keep jewelry that I only wear a few times a year. I often gravitate to my favourites so why not just keep those?
The more I have, the more there is to maintain and organize. I love the boxes I have and am not interested in an elaborate or space taking unit. I let go of the box I didn't love and was taking the most space. I am keeping the 3 jewelry boxes I love.
I realized after I took the first photo that the heart shaped chocolate box was a memory box that has a childhood shell necklace I loved, my childhood charm bracelet and shells I loved from a childhood trip. They are some of my favourite childhood mementos not actual jewelry.
I started the letting go process with empty jewelry boxes - laying everything out on the table. Recognizing the containers I want to keep, I started by putting my favourites in that space. I like having the smaller boxes inside to better separate the items. I grouped similar things together.
I kept going until the space was full and I am donating the rest.
Giving it more thought since taking the second photo, the boxes are still overfilled but I need more time to let go of more. I am accustomed to filling a space, fill the closet, fill the drawer, fill the shelf - but that's not the best organization practice. We should leave space to easily find things. We want to make it easy to return things to their place. So I will move some items to an extra box just as a transitionary box to see if I will miss them. I'll review it in a couple of months.
This is a tactic I have been using to help me to let go. I store things to see if they are really missed. Decluttering is a process so I am giving myself a pat on the back for getting it down to this amount.
I feel like I know where each item goes now so it will be easy to put back. It will also be easier to choose what to wear since I can better see what my options.
When I was choosing the jewelry to let go of, I asked myself if I had another item I loved just as much that I could wear if I didn't have it. I let go of things I loved that I found a little finicky to put on, so I often chose not to wear them. I also let go of some I loved with certain outfits that I no longer have. Although I still loved them, they didn't really go with my current wardrobe.
I am hoping that the items I am donating are finding their way to someone who will better appreciate them.
I started this blog post last October but didn't finish it. As I am decluttering more books this weekend, I thought I'd see if I could finish it and maybe add some insight that I didn't have at that time.
As I go through my bookcases, which were overflowing into boxes, the criteria I'm using is whether I:
Let Go
a book that is easily accessible in the future - so a classic that won't disappear
a book I loved but will not want to re-read. Whether it's too sad or an interest that isn't one anymore
useful info that I keep reading and re-reading about - decluttering, productivity, procrastination...how many of these do I need and will I re-read them?
informative books that I made summary notes from
books I wished I wanted to read
books I wished my kids wanted to read
Keep
a book about a passion, like travel - I will continue to want to travel, so I love keeping my travel books; especially if I wrote notes in them
useful info I will want in the future - like my favourite parenting books I'll want to refer to when I'm a grandmother
rare books like my hometown books that can't be repurchased
books that may inspire a new idea some day...
"A Clearing Realization:
There were books that I didn’t need few years ago but had an intuition to keep.
for example today .. I had the urge to take few books from my library, and put them together, magically out of nowhere, they spurred a spark of inspiration for a new project for my next book. Suddenly I realized why I kept them.
The same goes to some pieces of clothes, that may not fit together with my wardrobe at a previous stage. But now after many clearing processes for my wardrobe, it fit perfectly well.
Listen to your intuition and inspiration when you are clearing. Feel the spark and the inspiration that few items give you, still don’t have logical reason why. Trust your inspiration."
*******
That's what I wrote in October. The last quote is probably from the book Simple Abundance. It sounds like that author. I'm disappointed that I didn't reference it in my draft. I will add the reference when I find it.
As I continued to declutter my books in the past few days, I find it interesting to not have listened to my previous advice.
For example, I got rid of travel books!!! 😲
I am wanting to create more and more space in my house and I realized that I don't need to keep so many books. I took a photo of the notes insde my travel books - and luckily I wrote notes at the back of the book and not throughout so the notes are saved and the book can be enjoyed by someone else.
Last fall I kept this book.
It's not easy to find. It's no longer available at Indigo. The author came to our Moms' group and she signed my copy. I scanned the cover and her signature. I would love for someone else to read this book and enjoy it like I did, rather than it sit on my shelf because I met her and she signed it. The photo will remind me in case I want to re-read it in a decade or two. It is available at the library and maybe will return to the book store.
Another book I was keeping was because it was a gift from my husband. I love the film and loved the book. Why not share the love. Why keep an amazing book on my shelf unread for years (obviously I had read it, but then it was sitting there being unread).
Although I scanned the note, I cut out the page and filed it in my chronological Memories folder. Maybe that's a better place for the note than inside the book.
I had been keeping books for decades having read them. Do we keep them to show how "smart" we are and to show that we read all these books. I have lived in this house for almost 25 years. It's not getting any bigger. I also feel that sharing a book shares the knowledge, passion and love. That has been a big mindshift for me. As the years pass and my love of reading continues, I shouldn't keep all the books I read - even if I love them and even if they have memories.
The memories are not in the physical books. The memories are in my mind and in my heart.
To try to be my best today, I need to let go of my nostalgic self and my someday self.
I thought I was nostalgic when I started my Revive55 Project. When I researched and learned about nostalgia, it was defined as bittersweet memories and homesickness. It's a yearning to return to a happier time. That doesn't make me feel good and maybe isn't what is best for me.
I'll make a distinction though between nostalgic (bittersweet) memories and happy past memories. Looking at the photos and mementos that I have kept over the decades, I am trying to reflect on what type of memory it is. Does it make me happy in the present? Is it meaningful? Or does it remind me of a happier time that I can't return to? Or worse does it remind me of a time that wasn't happy?
Although I haven't been able to travel the past couple of years, my travel memories still bring up happy feelings when I look at them. Perhaps that is because I know that I still have more travel memories to make. My travel days are not over, they're just on pause.
When I look at my old concert t-shirts, I could say the same thing. I still have concert memories to come, so my past concerts are mostly good memories but perhaps the small fitted t-shirts are not making me feel good because I may never be able to wear them again. (well, I can WEAR them, but I may not want to be SEEN in them...lol)
I love the design for some of them, like this Coldplay one, so I will keep those and let go of the other ones. I am thinking of framing the ones I love. That feeling of hoping to go back to my smaller self is nostalgic for me. It's a feeling that I want to let go of. I want to feel happy with where I am today. (It's easier said than done, but it's what I am striving for).
I wrote previously about my sports and music trophies. I had two boxes of them in storage. I donated most and kept what I thought at the time were my special ones. Two years later, I can see that some of them are nostalgic. I am ready to let go of more.
When I say I want to let go of my nostalgic self, I am referring to activities, hobbies and experiences. I am not referring to losing someone I love. I fortunately and thankfully can't imagine what it feels like to lose a spouse, a child or a parent. I can't speak for how to deal with immense losses and how to move forward while keeping someone's memory in our hearts.
I am talking about letting go of my own memories that don't add value or happiness to the present.
Letting go of my someday self is about collecting things and ideas about things I keep putting off or keep thinking that I will do some day. For example, I had a sewing machine and basket that I kept for decades barely using them. In high school, I sewed badminton outfits for myself. I couldn't find what I wanted in the stores so created my own with my Mom's sewing machine (even if I never took a sewing lesson). For some reason, I bought myself a sewing machine thinking that some day I would sew. I sewed a Hallowe'en costume for my son once.
He wanted a golf course costume; not to dress up like a golfer. He designed the course including sand traps and water hazards. I sewed the green felt base together. This was one of the few times I used my machine.
When I needed something mended, I would take it to a seamstress. It was not worth me re-learning how to use the machine to fix something. So I kept a few spools of thread and needles and purged the rest, creating space on my shelves for something that would be useful or loved. I am not someone interested in sewing today, so I let it go.
There's a difference between my someday self and my dreamer self. I love setting goals and chasing dreams. I love making vision boards and having lists of things I want to accomplish or places I want to go. I may not be accomplishing those things today, but I am in the process of making them happen or having them manifested.
It's recognizing the difference between something I really want to do rather than something I think I should do.
For me, I really want to make photo albums and video highlights from our past memories. It's not something I think I should do. However, as a Creative Memories consultant, I collected much more scrapbooking supplies than I want to use. I feel like I should use them because I purchased them (or earned them in bonuses) but I don't really want to spend the time decorating my pages as much as I used to. Looking at my scrapbooking supplies, there is a lot that reflects my someday self. I need to let go of those and focus on the ones that will be used. I need to get rid of the clutter to better focus on the albums I want to make.
I know a lot of people who say that they want to make photo albums some day. Do they really want to or do they feel they should? If you are someone who feel they should, I suggest to let go of that someday project. There are other ways to enjoy your memories without feeling the need to organize your whole photo collection into albums.
Moving forward, I may no longer make chronological albums. I feel like my digital photo collection is a continuous library so I'll be focusing on theme albums. More on that in another post.
By letting go of my nostalgic self and my someday self, I am creating space for my best present self.
I originally posted this as "Why Make Space", but since, I have changed the wording to Create Space to include the creativity that I want to practice more. I am changing "make space" for "create space" in this edited version.
In my attempt to "create space" as I'm calling part 2 of my Revive55 Project, I am having trouble answering why I am saving certain things. I was looking at things that I was not getting rid of, and was wondering why not?
In the past few weeks, I have recycled, donated and thrown away more sentimental items than I have in years. I feel like I'm in the process of having a mindset shift. Things that I was holding on to even just two years ago when I started my Revive55 Project, I'm able to let go of now.
For example, I kept magazines and newspapers. I had a box full of them. Two years ago, I got rid of more than half of them...and now, I decreased it even more. Looking at them, I wonder why I saved them in the first place. Some of them are not happy memories; but perhaps that is also a mindset shift that happened to me in the last decade or so. Letting go of sad memories. I don't mean to forget them, but why have something to remind me.
I think rather than asking why I am saving something, a better question may be why do I want to create space? Focusing on my future vision and even focusing on how I feel today may be more impactful.
I have been living in this house for over twenty years. I have accumulated a lot of stuff and memories in that time. Every year I decluttered things that were no longer useful or loved, but sentimental stuff continued to accumulate. What started as one memory box, became two, then four, eight, sixteen... Okay, I don't think I ever only had one memory box. I left for university with more than one, but you get my point. What started out as a few photo albums became dozens. My digital photo and video collections keep growing. Hard drives and cloud storage keep increasing. How will we find our photo and video memories in 10 or 20 years if we don't curate them?
I have had many birthdays and holidays. I have collected countless gifts and cards. I find gifts harder to part with than things I have bought for myself. Gifts have more sentimental value but should they? If I buy something, it's something I love enough to spend on. I wouldn't necessarily have bought the gifts chosen by others. It's not the thing but the gesture from the gift-giver we value.
As my children have left home, looking at how much they have accumulated makes me realize that perhaps I have encouraged them to hold on to things. There were many times that I kept some things that they were decluttering. There were times when I questioned their lack of attachment to things and "explained" why they were special or reminded them of who gave it to them or where we were when we got them. I don't want them to continue to collect for another 20 years like I did. I also hope to inspire them to let go and make/create space in their lives as a process not a huge mid-life project.
I have read many decluttering books, listened to podcasts and even taken a course. The message is normally to tackle sentimental things last and often times, they don't cover that part.
Sentimental things are personal. We'll hold on to things and let go for different reasons. Hopefully by reading about my "Create Space" journey, you'll reflect on yours and be inspired to make/create space yourself.
Why create space?
I want to create space so that I can enjoy my most meaningful memories. Like I said in a post last year, "they are more beautiful if they are few". Separating our most precious photos, video moments and mementos from the clutter makes us appreciate them more. It also makes us recognize what we value most so we can create more.
I want to create space in order to love what I keep and to keep what adds value to my life.
I want to create space in order to make new memories. Like I mentioned in my last post, by creating a void, there is room for something new to come into our lives. For example, this is one of my old Facebook posts:
I think my first reaction was that it was a bummer that I got rid of the bag or a Murphy's Law thing. [Of course I get invited after getting rid of my bag]. Letting go of Murphy's Law is another mindset shift I've gone through. I thought of the Law of Attraction because I had been researching snowboard events. I hadn't seen this friend in over a year. When I told her about my Olympic-themed blog and work with SportCafé, she invited me because the Dew Tour would be on and it was one of the first 2014 Olympics qualifying events.
I didn't think of the "create space" aspect of it at that time though. By letting go of old skiing memories, I made new memories. How many times has this happened and I didn't make the connection?
I decluttered my china cabinet. I was always having to move things to get to what I wanted. I put a lot of it in boxes in a closet, but also donated some. Whenever we have champagne, we have pairs of glasses. With our kids being older, we now often aren't just a couple having champagne so we mix and match glasses.
Although I didn't declutter champagne glasses (yet), two of these are our originals (from a Perrier Jouet gift set) and the other two were being given away by someone in my neighbourhood recently. There was room in my china cabinet for "new" champagne glasses and we now have a similar set of 4.
I may not declutter my champagne glasses. We use them a lot more than our tumblers or high ball glasses (and some of them have sentimal value ;-) - there's that word again). For our wedding crystal pattern, we had 12 of each glass style. We only have 6 or 8 wine glasses left (they were well loved and sometimes broken), so I don't need to keep 12 tumblers and high ball glasses that we rarely use. Create space for what we value, use and love.
Wedding gifts will be a great topic for a future post. For now, here are a few questions that I'll be reflecting on in my quest to create space.
How do we keep our memories alive when we let go of the things or delete photos? How do we decide which memories are worth treasuring and which are holding us back? Am I holding on to something in an attempt to hold on to my younger self? Am I holding on to something because I used to love it? Am I holding on to something "just in case" it becomes more sentimental?
I have to admit that I will struggle in making space and letting go. It's easier to know something than to act on it. That's one of the reasons that I want to continue my Revive55 Project. It helps to reflect when I'm writing about it.
I know I will be happier with less, but it will still be difficult to let go.
My 55 week Revive55 Project ended a year ago. I thought it was a good time to reflect on the project and look forward.
I started the project in the hopes of preserving all my memories. I was feeling like my collection of photos, videos, stories and mementos was growing and was getting out of control. I was overwhelmed with the quantity and was no longer making photo albums or scrapbooks to preserve them. I had started to make yearly photobooks that could hold four times the number of photos in the same amount of space on my shelf but still felt like I wanted to do better.
I thought that focusing on my memories for 55 weeks would help me to "catch up" and help me better remember my stories and moments.
What I found though was that 55 weeks wasn't enough to preserve it all. I also didn't want to spend that much time preserving instead of creating new memories. Once I "caught up", then what? How would I preserve memories going forward?
The R55 Project started out with a bang. I had lots of plans. I did lots of shopping - buying products that would help preserve and display mementos and photos.
Many "memory projects" planned went undone or ended up half-done.
During COVID, I saw a meme that said if only I had a week (or a month) at home I'd get my unfinished projects completed. Then COVID gave us months at home and projects still went undone. So as some of my projects went undone, I wondered why. Was it because they weren't important or it wasn't worth the time they would take? How could I complete them in a better way?
Having taken a break and gained perspective, I am ready to re-focus my efforts to finally achieve what I had hoped. What I wanted was to feel like the memories that mattered were being collected and enjoyed.
Home organizers will say that decluttering is the first step to organizing a home. In hindsight, I see that I could have started there, but I wasn't ready. I made the rookie organizing mistake to go buy containers to organize the stuff rather than removing the excess first to see what containers were needed.
I still had a memories journey to take before I was ready to see that I shouldn't want to preserve it all. As much as I did preserve many memories during my Revive55 Project, I learned that letting go is just as important.
I read the Law of Attraction years ago. Looking back at my notes, I am reminded that Tool #9 is to "create a void or a vacuum". What this means is that we need to create space in order to attract what we want to fill it. The example in the book is in order to attract more clients, we need to make space in our filing cabinet for the new client's file. If the cabinet is bursting at the seams, there is no room for new clients.
When my memory boxes and photo albums were full; I would buy more. Eventually, my shelves and closets were full. My house isn't getting any bigger so I needed a better way.
Creating a void and making space would make room for new memories and isn't that the point in life is to experience it and not just to collect it?
The other thing I learned during my project is that by preserving it all, we diminish the value of the really special ones. Since my memories were piling up and not "preserved" I started to collect more mementos and to take more photos in the fear of forgetting, but this caused the most memorable ones to get even more lost amid the clutter. The quote I loved was "they are more beautiful if they are few". You can read my blog post about that quote here.
During my project, I was also trying to "unearth" stories I may have forgotten, but I learned that sometimes, we forget stories for a reason. A little digging reminded me of an unpleasant memory. Turns out there was a reason I had forgotten the details.
My old way of preserving memories was no longer working and I recognized that spending 55 weeks trying to preserve them in the old way wasn't the answer.
I wanted to find a better way and it needed to start by letting go of the quantity to find the quality.
Knowing that decluttering memories will make me happier doesn't make it easier though. Knowing something sometimes isn't enough to act but I am ready to try.
My new focus of my Revive55 Project will be to make space and to preserve only what is most meaningful.
In my last post, I wrote about collecting more and more photos and memories during the months leading to our eldest leaving home for university and during a trip to Quebec for his last March Break.
Luckily, we managed to have another family trip that summer driving along Lake Huron and Georgian Bay. I tried to remember every detail of this "last" trip together. I collected rocks from every beach we went to. I took photos of the rocks and separated them so that I could remember wich ones were from where.
The rocks remind me of a special time. One of my favourite photos is the photo I took of my husband taking a photo of our kids skipping rock. Of course, his photo is a better photograph, but I love the moment that I captured.
The rocks were a memento of our time on the beach but not every beach we stopped at was special on this day. The one that 'took our breath away' in relation to the rocks was Big Bay; "The Stone Skipping capital of Canada.
But like I would later read,
"One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. " Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Or in my case that day, one cannot collect all the beautiful rocks on the beach.
I would also add that although a few are beautiful, the collection as a whole on the beach are most beautiful.
I still haven't done anything with my rock collection. They are in a beautiful box but not being enjoyed or remembered.
Before learning this recent lesson, I continued to collect more and more memories. I took lots of photos and collected more and more mementos.
Last year, I started the Revive55 Project with the goal of preserving all these moments I had been collecting. How could I better remember and enjoy all these memories? During my project though, I read this shell quote and took an uncluttering course which changed my opinion.
While writing about collecting shells in Gift From The Sea, Anne Morrow Lindberg reflects:
"I couldn't even walk head up looking out to sea, for fear of missing something precious at my feet. The collector walks with blinders on; he sees nothing but the prize."
"In fact, the acquisitive instinct is incompatible with true appreciation of beauty."
"For it is only framed in space that beauty blooms."
I may not need a box full of rocks to remember this holiday, but one (or a few) special ones from this beach.
Even our kids were looking at their feet and found precious rocks, like this heart-shaped one because they know I love hearts. This rock "framed in space" in my daughter's hands is the most special.
As beautiful as the lake or the sky is, I do have to admit that the rocks are the precious part of this beach.
Although I have read this idea of less is more in various places, and appreciate its message; I still struggle with getting rid of things. During my Revive55 Project, I did select the most precious from some of my possessions. I have gotten rid of some of the least special but there is still more decluttering and deleting to be done.
To help, I have accepted that I need an 'in-between' phase. I am putting more in storage to see what I miss and want to better appreciate and what I am ready to let go of, even if I still like them. That's the challenge with decluttering mementos. We kept them because they mattered but as the years and moments accumulate, our space isn't big enough to keep the growing collection. Perhaps as time passes, our memory of the item will diminish so it will be easier to let go.
As I see my precious keepsakes surrounded by space rather than cluttered with others, it gives me more motivation to continue to make more space.
In my last post, I wrote about decluttering my sports trophies. I looked at my sports trophies before looking at the newspaper clippings. I put some trophies in the "to donate" box before realizing what their significance may have been. I'm not sure if I will reopen the donation box now that I've seen the photos and clippings but for now, I have separated the meaningful ones from the ones I thought weren't as meaningful.
I have a box of music trophies that I haven't opened yet. While working on my childhood photo album, I started looking at newspaper clippings to see what I would want to include in the photo album. Along with my sports newspaper clippings were my music ones. That is the wonderful thing about living in a small town. Every time you win a trophy, you're in the newspaper.
Along with the scrapbooks that my Mom kept the newspaper clippings in (shown at the top in the photo), were file folders that contained the certificates and adjudicator reports for each of my music performances in the Music Festival from 1972-1982 (bottom right).
Tip: Keeping things in yearly folders is an easy way to keep track of mementos.
Unfortunately, I put some of my most special newspaper clippings in a magnetic album (bottom left) that has wrecked the clippings - fading and putting lines along the photos.
The clippings in this album were very difficult to remove. It's a good lesson that we should remove things from these type of albums before they deteriorate further.
Tip: Use a tool like the Creative Memories multipurpose tool to gently unstick photos or clippings that are stuck. If it's a photo, which is more sturdy than delicate newspaper, dental floss can also work.
Tip: Before removing photos or items from an album, have a plan to organize and label the photos with any information you are not keeping (ex. date, location that may be written on the album page). Ideally use a photo-safe writing tool or write on a photo-safe label you can adhere to the back of the photo.
Tip: Be ready to keep photos organized if you remove them from an album. Put them in a photo safe album immediately or label/date each photo.
I initially thought that decluttering my music memorabilia would be simple. I thought I was more attached to my sports days than my music moments. I figured I would keep the memorable ones and get rid of the rest but I am really struggling with that. Do I just keep the ones when I won which was my initial thought? Or do I keep the ones from the music pieces I loved? Or the ones when there was a story with the performance?
As I read through some of the adjudicator comments, I cringed at how critical some of them were. This was a northern town festival. I would say that I competed for fun. The adjudicators came from larger centres in Canada. In hindsight though, many of my fellow competitors ended up studying music at university and making music their chosen career. Just because we were a small town, does not mean that there were not VERY talented musicians. My younger sister competed against Rayanne Dupuis who became an opera singer with the Canadian Opera Company and is now performing in Europe. Those musicians probably appreciated the comments and applied the recommendations more than I did. In this photo that I rescued from my magnetic album, Rayanne is second from the left. I'm fourth from the left. Five people made music their career that I know of in this photo.
When decluttering, Marie Kondo suggests keeping things that spark joy. Is it possible for a negative story to spark joy? For years, I would tell the story of the time I sang a song I loved at the music festival. This is a song that I still play on the piano. I play the original version and if I'm in the mood to sing it, I play it in a different key to sing along.
How I remember the story is that I go up on stage to sing (actually we were in the smaller room so not actually on the big stage in the auditorium - I vividly remember this moment). My Mom is accompanying me on the piano. Before she can start the introduction, the adjudicator says "Brahms in French?" (She spoke in French to say this). I can't remember exactly what she said afterwards but I knew she was not happy about my song choice. So much for my excitement and confidence to perform.
I would later believe that she wanted me to sing it in German. It is only now that I read her comments and see that she explains that:
"in principle I am against these adaptations. It's a shame that you didn't sing...[names of French composers]..that are lovely and the real thing. Your effort is praiseworthy. Diction is clear. Intonation is correct."
[Funny sidenote: I didn't know who the French composers were that she mentioned so I didn't include them in my translation above. The next day, I was reading a book and read the following:
"Bach's preludes and fugues are an exquisite balm for the blues. Gabriel Fauré is a personal favorite when I'm frazzled, and Frederic Chopin's exquisite nocturnes can restore a ravished soul even if a broken heart can't be mended"
As I read this quote, I recognize the name Fauré and wonder if that's what I read in the report the day before. I go back and see that it is. How am I seeing this name twice in two days? The universe is telling me that I should give Fauré a listen.]
I initially put this adjudicator's report in the recycling bin. I took it out to post about it. This is a memorable moment in my childhood. Shouldn't I keep it? I have winning certificates and adjudicator reports that I don't remember. This judge took her work seriously. She was like an early version of Simon Cowell. On another report, she wrote "bad diction. [ other comments - then finished with ] if only we could understand the words - - - -". I can't help but laugh when I read this now. I googled the adjudicator and she had a very prestigious career as a concert pianist (including with the Montreal Symphony Orchestra) and piano professor. She received the Order of Canada in 1980; the year she was adjudicator at our music festival.
I did have a good report when I won in vocal duet with my sister. "Correct intonations. Intervals are good. The voices are lovely. The interpretation is very good. The diction is clear. Thank you!" So she's fair. I'm sure our best musicians had amazing reports.
Most of my reports over the years are kind even when I messed up. Sometimes it's comments like:
I know this isn't your best! (the judge underlined "know" and added the exclamation point)
Better luck next time
with a bit more control, this could be very fine work indeed
some musical playing here, although not always under control today
despite some small memory problems near the ending
I wish I had heard you at your best
a few slips and some confusion near the end but general effect pleasant
If you had asked me how many certificates I had, I wouldn't have guessed this many. It was wonderful to see but I have now recycled most of the 2nd and 3rd places. I kept a couple of special ones.
Each winning certificate has a trophy.
This is how tall the certificates pile was. I sometimes think, they're just certificates, they don't take as much space as trophies, but they do when there are fifty-two.
Having a photo reminds me of how many performances I performed. There were numerous pieces to memorize and perform in front of an auditorium every year. I am so thankful to have lived in a town with this opportunity.
Reading all the comments, looking at the certificates, newspaper clippings and the trophies brought back so many memories. It transported me back in time to the Civic Centre in the large auditorium or the smaller room upstairs. I can remember walking up the stairs to get backstage where we waited for the adjudicator's bell ring that told us she was ready for the next competitor. I would walk up to the grand piano, the only time I got to play such a beautiful instrument, sit on the bench, ensure I was the perfect distance from the keys. My fingers are positioned, I take a breath and play as best as I can in that moment. Some years I knew the pieces better than other years. Sometimes it was luck when I would play it the best I ever played. Other times, it was the opposite.
If we won our individual category, we received a medallion. The person with the highest mark of a few similar categories won a large cup they got to keep for one year and received a smaller replica. The cup winners performed at a gala on the Sunday after the week long festival.
I'm thankful to have taken the time to go through all the mementos but I no longer want to keep it all. I think part of my reluctence to let go was the fear that I would forget. There were moments of "I had forgotten that"! I was reminded because I had all the mementos.
So how do I decide what to keep and what to let go? For many there are four mementos.
This one was especially memorable because I sang a duet with my sister and my Mom accompanied us. We practiced so much to perform this song as well as we did. I enjoyed the harmonies of duets. This slow version of the song is not bringing back good memories though. I don't think I loved the song, but I loved the performance.
The following year, we worked just as hard to perform A Lark in The Air. It was so tough to get the tempo correct but we had a great teacher who taught us to sing it correctly. While we were waiting to sing it, I had a little cough that kept worsening. When I got backstage, I couldn't talk or sing. We were the first performers in our group. I got a glass of water and the other performers went before us while I tried to get my voice back.
It was frustrating to hear the others who didn't perform it with the correct tempo. We thought we could win if we could just sing, but it wasn't meant to be. The way the duet went, I started the song as a solo and then my sister came in with a harmony after the first line. We were performing in the large auditorium and no voice came out until the third word. I could sing the medium and low notes but not the high ones. Being the soprano, this didn't work. We ended up last but the judge gave us praise for singing it with the correct tempo. It's funny that I remember those comments even if I don't have the adjudicator report. I guess I threw it out long ago - or she felt that it wasn't worth writing up a report when it wasn't really performed properly.
There are many songs I sang or pieces I played that I don't remember but I always remembered this one. It's too bad I never saw the film Iris - I would have freaked out! I just found this clip of the song from the film.
This memory brings a smile to my face perhaps more than the trophies or certificates do. It's more interesting to have a story than just going up, playing a piece or singing a song perfectly and getting a trophy. Although I have kept a few trophies, certificates and judges reports, maybe the next time I decide to declutter, I'll be ready to declutter even more of them. I have spent hours looking through the reports, the programmes, looking through the music pieces I still have and playing them. I am happy that I had kept all the things until I had the chance to take the time to go through them and be reminded of what was most special. I just wish I hadn't waited this long to do it.
That is the lesson to take away from this. In the future, I don't want to hold onto everything for decades before deciding what is worth preserving.
I was decluttering my box of sports trophies and as I took out trophy after trophy, I noticed how many silver ones there were. It reminded me of the many times that I didn't win.
A couple of weeks later, I was listening to a podcast where they were talking about gold shoes and gold pens. The two speakers love gold. I had an aha moment hearing this. They are raving about the gold pen from the podcaster's stationary store, and I had bought the silver pen. I also prefer silver jewelry to gold.
This made me wonder, did I love silver before the runner-up results or did I learn to love silver by being runner-up so often?
It turns out that my championship trophies were at the bottom of the box, understandably because they are bigger (and heavier) but I definitely remember being runner-up or third more than I remember winning. I wonder if this is because I thought and analyzed the losses afterwards more than the wins or that I obviously lost a lot more times than I won. We don't have trophies when we don't make a final or podium.
I remember as a young teenager having a button that said "I'm no. 3, I don't try very hard". It was similar to this one but the button was white.
I don't think I actually wore it. The best track athlete in my town wore one. I used to think it was quite funny because she won everything. She was a natural and amazing runner and jumper so it may have been true that she didn't try very hard. Maybe she was number 3 provincially but in our town, she was by far the best.
At the same time, I remember having a t-shirt that said "almost perfect" with the R backwards.
It was the t-shirt I wore at the Franco-Ontarien All-Ontario Championships. I can still picture myself wearing that shirt on television when my race was part of the newscast. Luckily they showed the beginning of the 400m so we didn't see that I was 6th at the finish line. One of my greatest sports accomplishments (in my mind) was at that meet. I qualified to attend All-Ontario for the 400m (the longest distance we raced in my town to qualify) so we didn't have anyone from my region competing in the 800m so they added me to the race (or they added the 800m to the competition). I was 6th in the 400m but won a silver medal in the 800m! In track and field, we normally got ribbons so getting a medal at this championship (at a podium I believe) was very special.
I don't have any photos from that meet but I did get my photo taken when I got home.
Telling myself that I didn't try very hard or that I was almost perfect maybe took the sting out of losing or I just didn't care about winning as much as my fellow competitors. I definitely cared about moving on, so if two competitors qualified for the next meet, I would be at least second. If three qualified, I often was third. So sometimes, I was second locally, then second regionally and second again to qualify for All-Ontario. Maybe I tried just hard enough to move on or had a fear of success.
Looking back at results, it does amaze me to see this pattern. Maybe playing or racing was more important to me at that time. Even now looking at my box of trophies, I wonder why I kept them all these years. There are special ones worth keeping but was the quantity also important then?
I kept all my report cards and all the trophies, certificates and adjudicator sheets from the music festivals, so I guess it's not surprising that I kept my sports trophies - although they take up a lot more space.
Another reason I kept them was that it reminded me of a happier time when I used to play sports competitively. After moving away, I realized how lucky I was to grow up in a small town in Northern Ontario where learning sports was affordable and the competition wasn't too deep so we would travel to other towns for competitions. The number of trophies, ribbons and medals reminded me of all the sports I played and all the tournaments and meets I competed in.
When I look back at my early sports days, getting to travel to meets and tournaments I qualified for by winning locally or regionally are my fondest and most memorable moments. Because I didn't win awards at the more prestigious events and don't have many photos, the trophies were the proof or mementos that helped me remember.
When choosing whether to keep or let go of a trophy, there are a few things that we can reflect on:
1 - Are you proud of the accomplishment(s) and want to display it (them)?
2 - Do they inspire you?
3 - Do they remind you of memorable moments?
4 - Would you be as happy with a photo to remind you instead of the physical trophy?
5 - Are they useful? My sister sent me a video showing me her husband's golf trophies. I was inspired to see "trophies" being used as bookends, filing systems or coin holders. I asked her to send me photos to share.
I think these trophies and medals used to give me a sense of accomplishment. I have probably been ready to let them go for quite a while now, but didn't think they would be useful to the organizations that I donate household items to so they have sat in a box.
I found an organization, Repeat Champions, in Hamilton that refurbish and donate trophies.
"Trophies are refurbished, recycling as much as 90% of the parts and donated to groups and organizations within our community and abroad, which do not have the resources to purchase them on their own. "
My Revive55 Project along with finding this organization have given me the incentive I needed to finally declutter my trophies.
When my parents downsized from their house to an apartment, they decluttered many of their possessions. They donated many things and also gave my siblings and I some of the sentimental mementos that we wanted.
I love their mentality. They enjoy seeing us appreciate these mementos while they are still alive. Instead of having all the children split up the mementos after they have passed away, they get to see and enjoy us choosing what we love.
Every time we visit, they tell us to "put our name" on the things we care about. If they still want to keep them, the name is there for the future. Sometimes though, they are ready to part with the items and give them to us in the moment.
A souvenir that I wanted was a wooden sailboat that they had at the cottage. I had bought the boat for my father during my Grade 8 school trip to Southern Ontario that included Toronto and Niagara Falls.
I remember that I had $1.20 left. I saw this sailboat that was $1.10. I was very happy to have found something that I thought my Dad would like with the money I had left. I can still picture myself seeing it in the shop. I think we were given daily allowances for food so although I used to tell the story that I went home with $0.10. I don't believe that I starved on the way home.
After telling my parents the story that either I hadn't told them or they had possibly forgotten, I added a label with my name and the price I paid for it as a reminder of the story.
On a future visit, my father told me that he was happy to part with the boat. It probably didn't have the sentimentality to him as it does to me which is why I love the way that they are parting with their mementos.
They are sharing stories with their mementos and hearing the stories that went with the gifts we gave them. They now get to see us enjoy and display them. The sailboat is even more special now too because we have been reminded of the story that goes with the souvenir.
As I was writing this blog post, this reminded me of the gift my son bought for me at Canyon Saint-Anne on his Grade 8 trip to Quebec City and Montreal. I am now displaying the two gifts together as a reminder of our childhood trips.
Sharing stories and mementos while we are still together adds even more meaning to them. Adding a label or writing the story in a journal helps preserve the memories.
My 55 week Memories Project is officially starting today.
What I envision at the end of the project is for the mementos that I care about to be on display or easily accessible. I will also journal the memories that I have and don't want to forget.
My Memories Project will have eleven 5-week projects. The first step is to take an inventory of my keepsakes and organize them so that everything with a similar theme is together.
Most of my paper mementos are in boxes and folders.
While going through the boxes and folders, it's important to see what items are memorable and worth keeping. By decluttering first, there will be less to deal with during the project and it will be easier to recognize what is most important.
Once I have a clearer idea of what is important and worth keeping, I will divide them into 10 categories to be tackled in ten 5-week projects.
I grew up keeping a LOT of papers and mementos related to multiple themes like travel, school, childhood, sports, family, friends, events, correspondence, gifts, etc.
I need to look at what I have and organize what goes together. In my childhood box, for example, there are travel mementos, correspondence, sports, events, newspaper clippings and school.
Upon initial reflection, some categories seem easy to choose. For example childhood, travel, concerts, sports, photos and videos seem obvious choices for me but we'll see if these are the categories I choose.
Do I want to organize chronologically or by theme? For example, do childhood trip mementos go with childhood mementos or travel mementos? Do sports and music trophies go together with ribbons and certificates? Or do I separate them by theme; putting sports trophies with sports mementos and music trophies with music keepsakes?
Do I want to organize by type of memento? For example do concert t-shirts go with clothing or concert mementos? Do postcards all go together or do trip postcards go with trips and art galleries postcards with art?
Do I want to organize by type of project? For example do I have a category for things to frame and choose framing as a project category or do I leave those mementos in their category like travel, sports or photos?
Which items bring back the happiest memories? Which ones do I want to see every day? Which ones are beautiful that I would want displayed in a main area of our house and which ones are more personal?
These are the types of questions I will be asking as I go through my boxes and folders and begin my Revive55 Memories Project.
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