To try to be my best today, I need to let go of my nostalgic self and my someday self.
I thought I was nostalgic when I started my Revive55 Project. When I researched and learned about nostalgia, it was defined as bittersweet memories and homesickness. It's a yearning to return to a happier time. That doesn't make me feel good and maybe isn't what is best for me.
I'll make a distinction though between nostalgic (bittersweet) memories and happy past memories. Looking at the photos and mementos that I have kept over the decades, I am trying to reflect on what type of memory it is. Does it make me happy in the present? Is it meaningful? Or does it remind me of a happier time that I can't return to? Or worse does it remind me of a time that wasn't happy?
Although I haven't been able to travel the past couple of years, my travel memories still bring up happy feelings when I look at them. Perhaps that is because I know that I still have more travel memories to make. My travel days are not over, they're just on pause.
When I look at my old concert t-shirts, I could say the same thing. I still have concert memories to come, so my past concerts are mostly good memories but perhaps the small fitted t-shirts are not making me feel good because I may never be able to wear them again. (well, I can WEAR them, but I may not want to be SEEN in them...lol)
I love the design for some of them, like this Coldplay one, so I will keep those and let go of the other ones. I am thinking of framing the ones I love. That feeling of hoping to go back to my smaller self is nostalgic for me. It's a feeling that I want to let go of. I want to feel happy with where I am today. (It's easier said than done, but it's what I am striving for).
I wrote previously about my sports and music trophies. I had two boxes of them in storage. I donated most and kept what I thought at the time were my special ones. Two years later, I can see that some of them are nostalgic. I am ready to let go of more.
When I say I want to let go of my nostalgic self, I am referring to activities, hobbies and experiences. I am not referring to losing someone I love. I fortunately and thankfully can't imagine what it feels like to lose a spouse, a child or a parent. I can't speak for how to deal with immense losses and how to move forward while keeping someone's memory in our hearts.
I am talking about letting go of my own memories that don't add value or happiness to the present.
Letting go of my someday self is about collecting things and ideas about things I keep putting off or keep thinking that I will do some day. For example, I had a sewing machine and basket that I kept for decades barely using them. In high school, I sewed badminton outfits for myself. I couldn't find what I wanted in the stores so created my own with my Mom's sewing machine (even if I never took a sewing lesson). For some reason, I bought myself a sewing machine thinking that some day I would sew. I sewed a Hallowe'en costume for my son once.
He wanted a golf course costume; not to dress up like a golfer. He designed the course including sand traps and water hazards. I sewed the green felt base together. This was one of the few times I used my machine.
When I needed something mended, I would take it to a seamstress. It was not worth me re-learning how to use the machine to fix something. So I kept a few spools of thread and needles and purged the rest, creating space on my shelves for something that would be useful or loved. I am not someone interested in sewing today, so I let it go.
There's a difference between my someday self and my dreamer self. I love setting goals and chasing dreams. I love making vision boards and having lists of things I want to accomplish or places I want to go. I may not be accomplishing those things today, but I am in the process of making them happen or having them manifested.
It's recognizing the difference between something I really want to do rather than something I think I should do.
For me, I really want to make photo albums and video highlights from our past memories. It's not something I think I should do. However, as a Creative Memories consultant, I collected much more scrapbooking supplies than I want to use. I feel like I should use them because I purchased them (or earned them in bonuses) but I don't really want to spend the time decorating my pages as much as I used to. Looking at my scrapbooking supplies, there is a lot that reflects my someday self. I need to let go of those and focus on the ones that will be used. I need to get rid of the clutter to better focus on the albums I want to make.
I know a lot of people who say that they want to make photo albums some day. Do they really want to or do they feel they should? If you are someone who feel they should, I suggest to let go of that someday project. There are other ways to enjoy your memories without feeling the need to organize your whole photo collection into albums.
Moving forward, I may no longer make chronological albums. I feel like my digital photo collection is a continuous library so I'll be focusing on theme albums. More on that in another post.
By letting go of my nostalgic self and my someday self, I am creating space for my best present self.
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