Time is the Most Unforgiving of Fires

I wrote a blog post in 2008 after reading A Thousand Splendid Suns. You can read that original post by clicking here.

It was inspired by a quote in the book:

(to give some perspective, the passage describes how Laila feels after her first love Tarik tells her that he and his family are moving away)

"In the coming days and weeks, Laila would scramble frantically to commit it all to memory, what happened next. Like an art lover running out of a burning museum, she would grab whatever she could—a look, a whisper, a moan—to salvage from perishing, to preserve. But time is the most unforgiving of fires, and she couldn’t, in the end, save it all. "

I think that the author really describes it perfectly: "like an art lover running out of a burning museum"; "time is the most unforgiving of fires".

It's interesting to reflect on how I felt over a decade ago:

"Memories: something very close to my heart. I have realized that so many of my memories are forgotten. Perhaps that is why I take so many photos, to help me remember. I sometimes think that I’m too busy taking photos rather than really experiencing the moments so I have tried to curtail my photo-taking."

Interestingly, a month after that post, we bought a Digital SLR and our photo-taking increased exponentially. A couple of years later, I would get my first iPhone and then I had a camera with me wherever I went.

In one way, I love that so much of my life was documented with photographs, but like I would reflect then I didn't keep up with the journaling in photo albums.

"I am often told that I have such a good memory about my kids... but I kept a great journal during those times (and journaled in my photo albums). When I look through my photo albums from my childhood and university years (when I didn’t [journal]), I’m amazed how much I forgot."

With the increase in digital photos, I stopped printing photos and putting them in albums for many years. The great thing though is that although I may have been in the minority who was journaling in albums 10-20 years ago, most of us have been "journaling" in the last decade by posting on social media.

We have preserved many memories on Facebook so why not enjoy them? As the quote says, "time is the most unforgiving of fires". I sometimes see old posts and think "I had forgotten that!" By seeing the post, we are reminded of these moments that were important enough to share at the time.

Sometimes you will receive notifications from Facebook of memories from this day, but you can see them yourself every day by going to Facebook.com/memories when you are signed in to your account.

TimeHop is an app that you can connect to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter to see your posts from on this day. You can also link your photos so every day you can go to this app to see your memories from "on this day".

If you want to see memories from a day other than today, you can quickly go to a specific month and year on Facebook. When you're on your profile page, go to your activity log. Click on filter to choose your posts (rather than all activity) then choose the year and date.

While making my photobooks, I take screen captures of my posts or copy/paste the words to add journaling to my pages. You can also make photobooks on your phone from Facebook posts if you prefer to look through your memories in a book.

We remember our memories better when we relive them. 

A photo is not always worth a thousand words. We can ensure our memories don't fade by adding journaling to our photos to remind us of details that aren't obvious from the photo.

One last point, do you have your photos ready to be rescued in case of disaster whether that is a burning house, flood or technical crash of your computer or phone? As great as it is to have memories saved on Facebook, understand that the quality of the photos is diminished and you don't know how long that website will exist.

Write To Taste Life Twice

On August 6th, I received an email from the Team of the Day One app with the following quote that really resonated with me and my Revive55 Project:

"We write to taste life twice, 

in the moment and in retrospect."

Anaïs Nin

I loved the quote and copied it for this blog post. The post was going to be about writing our stories but a few days later, I picked up a book writeen with daily entries that I hadn't opened in a while - Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I often find that I read something in it that is perfect for when I read it and I hoped that this trend would continue. 

I started by re-reading the entry I had read the last time I opened it:

"A wise woman once advised me not to be a 'would-be-if-I-could-be or a could-be-if-I-would be. 

Just be.' And while I have learned that dreams need doing as much as they need being,

 I have learned that the being always comes first."

This reminded me of what one of my friends said during our weekly progress meeting two days earlier:

"It's not a to do life, it's a to be life."

I stopped re-reading the post at that quote - being amazed at the coincidence and had to write an email update to our group. 

But as I continued reading the entry in the book to quote in the email, it said:

"Today is a day for being. Be with those you love, be kind to yourself. 

Be quiet and call forth the dream you buried long ago. 

The ember is still glowing in your soul. 

See it in your mind, hold it tenderly in your heart. 

"The dream was always running ahead of one," 

Anaïs Nin confessed. 

"To catch up, to live for a moment in union with it, 

that was the miracle."

Another coincidence I told them in the email, reminding them of the quote from the Day One email I had told them during our group call.

I had never "noticed"Anaïs Nai before although I had obviously read this passage before and now I was noticing her twice in one week.

I ended the email saying that I always look at these coincidences as me being on the right track encouraging me to keep going.

Fast forward to today (a week and a half later). To help in writing this post, I searched through my email for the message I sent to my group by searching for "Anaïs". Along with the email I was looking for (and the Day One email), I found one that my sister sent to a group in 2010 to let us know that she had arrived in Paris. A friend of hers replied and this was one of the two signature quotes at the bottom of her email:

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud 

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin

This quote was so perfect for today. 

Writing about these small coincidences (and bigger moments) allows me to "taste life twice" and to connect the dots to see how one moment flows into another. 

The first quote is perfect for the Day One App. I love the app to capture memories in words, photos and other media. It's a great app to relive memories and "taste life twice".

Undocumented Stories

I wrote a blog post on my personal blog My Life Is Like A Song about Black Lives Matter where I share what has resonated with me on the topic. You can read my full blog post by clicking here.

I shared an article that I saw on the CBC website about the University of Western Ontario professor Philippe Rushton that reminded me of my university days.

"Rushton was a psychology professor [whose] work was widely criticized as racist as he attempted to draw conclusions between race and intelligence, fuelling beliefs that white people were genetically superior to Black people."  Click here to read the full article.

Our student newspaper at the University of Waterloo asked a question every week and printed the answers they received. I remembered being asked about Rushton's research and searched online to find this newspaper clipping.

Here's my (zoomed in) response:

Do you have memories with no documentation? 

During my Revive55 Project, I went through my memory boxes. I found a different "Campus Question" newspaper clipping that I was in and remembered this one as well, but I didn't have a clipping for this one. Reflecting back, what are the chances that I was featured in two "Campus Questions"? Hanging out at the Campus Centre where the newspaper office was probably helped.

This controversy with the university professor's research may be especially memorable to me because I was doing research in the Chemical Engineering Department so I was very interested in the methodology that this professor was presenting for his findings. When the reporter asked me if I wanted to share my thoughts on it, I wasn't shy to share my opinion.

Which brings me back to the idea of our memories. I was telling my daughter my memory of the campus question but did wonder, 'am I remembering this right?' 'am I embellishing it?'

When we don't have documentation for moments in our lives, we have a few options.

In this case, I was lucky to find the newspaper clipping online. Our university newspapers have been scanned. Last year, I went through many of them, trying to find this clipping.  Although I didn't find it at the time, I found other meaningful moments from concerts or other events that I was happy to be reminded of.

Telling stories helps us remember. I have often told the story of the days when I started dating my husband so we remember some of the details, but we don't have photos or specific mementos. We luckily have a photo of us from around that time period - we think before we were actually dating. But without cell phones, many of these earlier moments are not photographed.

I am taking a course called Tiny Story Society. This month's challenge was to photograph a story that isn't documented. We were asked to first document the story from memory to tell or write the story the way we remember it.

This week I was driving my daughter to Waterloo where I met my husband, so I took the time to go on campus and photograph the place where we watched a movie the night before our first official date. COVID-19 days made for an unusual photo with an empty hall that would normally be full of students lounging in chairs, walking or standing around.

I also went to the bar where I first saw him and we went for our first date.

Memories of lining up on this ramp, and watching people leave are so memorable.

Although this venue is no longer a bar, it was the venue for the open house our daughter attended while trying to decide on her university choice. My husband took a photo that day as we remembered the stage I was sitting on when I first saw him; the DJ booth where we'd make song requests and the dance floor where we spent hours enjoying our favourite songs.

Sometimes, actually going to the place isn't possible but there are other ways to bring those memories back to life.

What story do you want to capture?

Scanning Photos and Negatives

Do you have negatives or photos that you say you will have reprinted or scanned "some day"? I have for over 25 years.

When I picked up my Honeymoon photos, I wanted to keep them in order so I wrote a number on the back of them. This was before I knew to use a photo safe pencil/pen. As I stacked them, the ink from the pen made a mark on the next photo.

If the ink marks are in the sky, they can be cropped out, but if they're in a main part of the photo like in the wave below or in someone's face, it's more of a problem.

Since then, I have wanted to get reprints of the photos and make a honeymoon photo album but I never did. As I have quoted before, "something that can be done at any time is often done at no time".

For years, I had "lost" the negatives. I couldn't find them in the box of negatives I had at my house. When we were visiting my in-laws, I recognized a box in the closet and remembered that I had stored my first box of negatives there.

It's a tip I had heard, to keep your photos and negatives in a separate place. It's equivalent to the reason we back up our photos today. Ideally, your back-up drive should be in another location or on the cloud. If anything happens to the originals in your home, you always have your back-ups.

When I started my Revive55 Project last summer, reprinting these photos and making a photo album was one of the things I wanted to get accomplished. Our anniversary is this month, and this was my plan but with non-essential businesses closed, I can't take in my negatives to be reprinted.

That's not a big problem because I also wanted to digitize the photos. I wasn't sure whether I would get the photo lab to digitize them or if I would do it myself. Years ago, we bought a scanner - maybe it was purchased at the same time as the Elgato Video Capture we bought for our 20th anniversary. Click here to read my post about digitizing home videos.

I have used the scanner to preserve photos and negatives in the past but never got to my honeymoon negatives.

I got the scanner out this week and was disheartened to see that it was no longer compatible with the updated OS on my Mac. Our older iMac was updated as well. I started searching for a new scanner. I consoled myself with the thought that maybe a new one will be more efficient and better quality.

This is what my scanner looks like. The first photo shows the negative film holder installed in the lid of the scanner. The lid closes and the negative gets scanned. The second photo shows the white cover that is used to cover the black holder when you want to scan photos or documents.

The third photo shows the other side of the negative film holder where you load the negative as can be seen in the fourth photo. You lift the top that holds the negative down when closed.

                          

It's not the simplest process which is why I thought that over the years, something better would be on the market.

The reviews did not reassure me. I found the negative holder awkward on my scanner but the new ones were labelled as flimsy. The better quality scanners were over $1200. I was almost convinced to purchase a medium priced one for $275 that I had read and heard was a great scanner since starting my Revive55 Project. I felt though, that it was wasted money because I didn't think it would be any better than the one I already had. Bummer.

I then found online software that we could buy that would make it work again. It was a cheaper solution but was it a trustworthy solution?

When I was quarantined in April, I had tried to use my old MacBook (circa 2008) but couldn't get it to work. I used a refurbished Linus laptop instead. My scanner wasn't compatible with the laptop so I got the MacBook out again and got it to work.

I downloaded the scanner software, and it WORKED!!! I was SO happy and relieved. I'm so happy that we still had it. We hadn't used the MacBook in years and when it was in the process of crashing, I managed to export the valuable photos, music and documents from it before it completely crashed and we needed to wipe it.

I was happy to scan the negatives. Some of the printed photos are markedly improved just by scanning the negative. Going back to that first photo I showed with the ink marks:

Original photo printed (1990's)

Scanned from negative film (2020)

Scanned from negative film (2020)
edited to straighten the horizon line, correct yellowish tinge
and lighten shadows possibly due to age of negative

By scanning the negative, the sun is visible and there are parts of the photo that was cropped on the initial photo. In this case, seeing the extra chair doesn't add value but sometimes a critical part is missing. The negative is not 4x6 so when a photo is printed, it cuts off part of the photo. If you have printed photos online, you will see this when you choose whether you want to crop a little on either side or more on one side.

As technology changes, I am being reminded that we should preserve things while we still can. I had old negatives from a disc camera that became obsolete. I'm not sure if I kept them or not, but I googled and learned that I may be able to scan them with my scanner.

I will now scan as many negatives and photos as I can before technology changes again and I'll have to spend more or lose my memories preserved in these images.

Reviving Home Video (and Audio)

For our 20th wedding anniversary, almost a decade ago, I wanted to preserve our memories so rather than regular gifts or a trip to celebrate, we purchased an iMac to optimize our photo editing and organization with Photoshop and purchased Elgato Video Capture to transfer our home videos.

This post is about Video Capture. We purchased the Elgato one, but there are other brands available that do the same thing. Video Capture allows you to connect a camcorder, VCR, DVD player or other analog video or audio sources to your computer.

You can preserve your home videos by connecting your camcorder to your computer. You press play on the camcorder and capture the video on your computer. With the video digitized, you can also edit it to save the best parts in a shorter highlights video.

Tip: If your camcorder or analog video source has an S video output, it will give better quality result than the yellow video output. The red and white outputs are for audio.

I would advise to still keep the original cassettes (and cameras) in case technology changes and improves in the next decade(s). Perhaps in the future, there will be technology to improve the quality of old film. Looking back, our home videos were first transferred to videocassettes that were of okay quality. To get better quality, we then transferred them to DVD. We can now transfer them digitally. How long will we have DVD players for? Who knows what future technology will be available?

We used to save VCR cassettes of shows we recorded or VHS movies we purchased. We can't imagine watching those anymore. Many of those films or television shows can be streamed or purchased at higher quality now. We're happy we can digitize from our original camera cassettes and not the VCR tapes or DVDs we made that may be lower quality than the originals.

In some cases, lower quality is better than nothing so there are times that I digitized a VHS tape or DVD with Video Capture. Before donating your VCR or allowing it to break, it's a good idea to transfer them if you want to do it yourself.

There are companies who provide this service if you don't want to take the time to do it yourself.

Although my home videos were digitized years ago, I recently took my Video Capture out to record songs I wrote. 

My digital piano has audio outputs so I connected it with Video Capture to my computer. It's a bit of a cheat because there's no video output. The file I get is a greyed out video with the piano audio. I edited the file in iMovie to remove the video and only keep the audio. I can then upload the audio MP3 to my music collection to listen to them.

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo

May 5th is Cinco de Mayo in Mexico. My parents spend their winters in a small town on the west coast of Mexico. The first time I visited, I ordered a shrimp cocktail from the menu and was surprised when it came in a cold tomato based broth. It was delicious. Every time I go back, I order it and it's just as good as the first time.

It's the perfect dish for me to make when I want to reminisce about my time in Mexico.

 

My breakfast on Cinco de Mayo is a tribute to two coffee shops I like in the small town.

I would have a caramel latte at the shop we went to the most. At the other, I had fresh honey with toasted homemade bread that was amazing! I didn't think I liked honey until that day. to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, I made a caramel latte using Nespresso's Mexico coffee served with toasted fresh bread and honey.

For afternoon snack, I was reminded of our time at Mexico City airport where we would have a layover. On our way there, we saw people carrying boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. We walked all over the airport trying to find the shop but couldn't find it. We didn't have that much time so I promised my daughter that we would find it on our way home when our layover was a little longer.

That day, we asked at the information desk and we were told that we had to go out of the security area for the shop. I wasn't going to let that stop me, so I went out to find it. I thought that I spoke enough Spanish to order a dozen regular doughnuts but the worker could not understand what I wanted. It was a reminder that I should really improve my Spanish in the future.

 

Going back through security with only my purse and doughnuts, I wondered if this was a regular sight for the security agents. My daughter was thrilled. We enjoyed a couple and had some interesting looks and comments when we boarded the plane with the box in the bag. 

We didn't know it at the time, but it turns out that there are still a few Krispy Kreme doughnut shops left in Toronto. I thought they had all closed.

Every once in a while we get doughnuts (or my daughter receives some as a gift). I was happy that we had some in the freezer to enjoy and reminisce about that day in Mexico.

We enjoyed looking at our photos and videos from our trips to Mexico.

Like I wrote in my last blog post when I celebrated Lei Day, if you haven't curated photos or videos from past trips, this is a great way to use a deadline to get them done. You can use a national holiday date, use the date when you went or even better, choose now to get started.

Celebrating Lei Day

Following up on my previous post about celebrating trip memories, Wearing my Hawaiian dress, I made Hawaiian themed foods to celebrate Lei Day.

I was ordering groceries every two weeks at that time so without early planning, the celebration would have to be done with foods I already had in our house.

We started the day like we did at the resort with fresh berries and watermelon.

I also ordered Hawaiian pizza a few days before (not thinking about Lei Day) and froze leftovers so although it's not a Hawaiian dish, I enjoyed it for lunch.

    

Without ingredients to make a mai tai, I made a fruit punch like I had from a food truck in Hanalei.

While in Hawaii, we had a lot of fish and seafood. In the freezer, I had lobster meat and shrimp so I made a lobster cheese dip for an appetizer and lobster & shrimp on baguette for dinner.

                        

                     

My husband and I used this deadline to curate the photos and videos from our trip. My husband made a highlight video using Final Cut Pro and we enjoyed reminiscing while watching it.

If you haven't curated photos or videos from past trips, this is a great way to use a deadline to get them done. You can use a national holiday date or use the date when you went or even better, choose now to get started.